probe this, jerk

What actually happened is this: After we finished watching Dexter over the phone Honey casually proffered two questions – 1. Can a person cheat at solitaire (since the stakes don’t really matter in the first place?) And 2. When Bruce Wayne hooks up with Selina Kyle while their alter egos are also concurrently getting it on, is it cheating? I answered yes and no respectively, while Honey answered no and yes. And then four hours and some name calling later, we stopped talking about it.

If you haven’t already guessed what my response might be to Honey’s thought provoking query of “Who the hell derives a sense of a accomplishment from a game of solitaire??” My answer is obvious, “ME. DUH!!!” I also like drinking alone, what of it?

Honestly, at this point if I were the type of person who said “maybe you’re right,” I would maybe concede that cheating at solitaire is referring to the situation in a somewhat harsh manner. Honey thinks that it’s not cheating if it doesn’t affect someone else, and that there has to be some gravity to the situation in a larger sense for it to be considered cheating. I personally think that the solitaire instance speaks to how a person would react in larger circumstances because of how one holds him/herself personally accountable. Now, I realize how ridiculous that is, but my brain has an old-timey gentlemen's agreement with itself to always keep it's word. As a gentleman your word is all you've got, unless you have more than 10,000 pounds a year, in which case, go you. And for the record I should probably mention that when I play solitaire on the computer or gadget of some sort, I don’t cheat, but I do constantly reset the statistics so it doesn’t get too depressing for me. I might have forgotten to mention that in my discussion with Honey. (I am totally allowed to do this though, because as I was too busy reading Jane Eyre and studying conspiracy theories as a child to frolic about with other youngsters and attempt to punt the football past the goalie, this is my little way of giving myself a pat on the back and a participation trophy even though I am a total and complete loser). And even if the amount of mattering falls in the “none more” category, I still play solitaire better than Honey because I get the point of the game – to see if you can get from the beginning to the end! If you can’t, the game is over. I really don’t see how that is too many rules to follow. If you simply rearrange the cards until they get to a more satisfactory placement, you are playing some weird, childish obfuscation of not solitaire.

I can’t get too worked up about the Batman/Catwoman scenario because all four of them are idiots and as I was once about to say “the relationship drama of fools bores the fuck outta me.” Seriously though, it’s not cheating.